midway politics

and have a nice day

2009-02-20T10:44:00.005-05:00

This is where we tell you that posts at Midway Politics have been put on hold indefinitely.

That is not to say they shall never return... they have just been put on hold indefinitely.

But we will say this... our experimentation on these here internets is not over, oh no, it has only just begun... and for the unsettled mind you may decide to scour the webs of the world-- high and low-- and find us again... maybe...

Best of luck until then.

Udolfo & Paul

hey what's up??

2009-02-19T23:45:00.000-05:00

DEAR READERS, FANS,

Hello! So I just got back a week ago from a lengthy trip in the Mediterranean region, also a brief stay in Egypt (no I didn't ride a camel LOL). I ate olives, driven mopeds, etc...YOU KNOW WHAT.

IT WAS AWESOME.

So now I am back home, and wished to talk politics with the guys. And then...I see, hiatus? WHAT!?!!

I have not heard from Messrs. Paul about this. BUT BE CALM. I AM STILL HERE. So...what should I say...hmmm.

Maybe first, a little political trivia:

1. If anyone could tell me who the 19th President of the United States was, I would gladly appreciate it. (Hint: I know it's NOT Groucho Marx LOL.)

2. William Henry Harrison kinda looks like Harrison Ford, who played the President in Air Force One. Coincidence...?

Next, what else should I talk about? Let's see.

...So what do you guys think of President Obama?

I didn't see his speech the other day, which is a shame for I write on this, a politics blog. But anyways, it seems like everything is going really really great. He got his bill passed, and people are going to start buying things until OTHER people learn they should in fact OWN the companies people buy these things from! That...or more rich people know that they can breathe the same air as the commonsfolk, and shake hands without tissues, and without fear of being raped of their complex theorems and such (and maybe for some, up the ass). But me, I'm smart, and I took my money out of all my investments a LONG time ago (and the bank LOL).

What else?

Oh yeah...President Obama got a dog too!

So I believe the correct Obamadog (I made that up, its like OCTOMOM, LOL) is in fact, a waterdog of some sort I think. This is indeed important historical information! (P.S. RIP Socks, the most important lazy half-rodent of the 90's...JK, I love kitties! Except those who happen to be, in fact, biogenetically, half-rodents...by mistake.)

Anyways, you caught me. We were wrong blogging the dog he would pick (LOL):

http://midwaypolitics.blogspot.com/2009/01/2009-predictions-your-head-will-spin.html

(You could also simply scroll down towards the post with the 8-ball, but I understand if you have really fat fingers.)

BUT CHECK IT OUT. If it is named Garfunkel, I think we get half credit. And we did predict there would be lobbying involved:

http://weblogs.baltimoresun.com/features/mutts/blog/2009/02/obama_dog_portuguese_water_dog.html

(Note that I read mostly just the headline of the "link" only, and not the actual article but I think it confirms everything.)

Moreso, we DID predict that predictions would be predicted to be realized to be stupid. And they are. Haha. We are an insightful blog, and I PREDICT there's less stupid people now because of us. Or is it...were an insightful blog? I don't know, but to all five questions, the answer is YES, YES, and YES.

Wow, I'm getting sleepy. So I don't know if I'll here from Paul anytime soon. If he doesn't blog anymore, I'll have to find someone else to blog with. Any ideas?

Did anyone see that dance Shaq did at the All-Star game? I SAW IT ON YOUTUBE, IT WAS AWESOME.

Well, that's almost about it from me tonight. It's been fun. Perhaps I will write again, I don't know we will see. Until then, email me, if you like!

But first, and last but not least, I would like to give a shout out to Slumdog Millionaire for winning THE OSCAR. Congratulations, Slumdog Millionaire!

LOL.

bill richardson will show himself out

2009-01-05T18:00:00.001-05:00

Well, that happened quickly.

If it seems like only a few days ago that this very site opinion-ed one of Barack Obama's appointees would face serious opposition, that's because it was.

Alas, the no drama Obama team was ridded of one Bill Richardson-- who might have been challenged during confirmation hearings for some his, uh, excess personal baggage, including an ongoing investigation that was cited as he stepped aside.

We aren't retracting the prediction. There will still be a controversy. The Republican leadership might pick say, Eric Holder, and make a stand to show some force and relevance. Especially in light of feeling the sting of another painful loss, this time in Minnesota, where the comedian, SNL actor, and generally liberal Al Franken was declared the winner over Republican incumbent Norm Coleman earlier today.

Whether Bill Richardson was forced to withdraw his name or saw the handwriting on the wall doesn't really matter. Obama has managed to establish a strong enough brand that problems are now being preempted before they even become problems at all.

Over the course of four years it will be tremendously helpful if the man in charge doesn't have to waste time, energy, and capital dropping the hammer himself. If Bill Richardson is the poster child of expected behavior of Obama's underlings, the new president will be able to better spend his resources fighting for policy, or battling members of his own party when they don't agree, or fixing the Bowl Championship Series-- just kidding about that last one.

meet your government: sam graves

2009-01-05T08:00:00.000-05:00

Name Sam Graves
Age 45
Occupation Congressman
Party Republican
District Northwest & Kansas City, MO
In Congress 8 years
08 Election Margin 59%-37%
Book Learning BA, Missouri
07-08 Campaign Spending $2,601,076
Political Pedigree None
Claim to Fame Missouri farmer turned Congressman
Notable Scandal Directing $273,000 grant for youth programs towards the eradication of Gothic subculture.
Proud Sponsor of H.CON.RES.404: Supporting the goals and ideals of a complaint free Wednesday.
You can quote him "A valid driver's license is like a hall pass that allows terrorists to easily roam throughout the United States."
Online (as a Congressman) www.house.gov/graves
Online (as a candidate) www.gravesforcongress.com

2009 predictions: your head will spin and eyes will hurt

2009-01-02T16:30:00.002-05:00

We decided to spare you a look back at the past year, one that was unquestionably remarkable, as it simply would be rehashing old stories that you're probably already tired of hearing about. Should you be interested in rereading the news from 2008, or reviewing the best or worst of that year, we recommend going ANYWHERE on the Internets-- as there are more Top 10 lists and Year in Review articles than failing banks right now.

We're not above gimmicky columns though. In the next year we'll invariably make more predictions and be wrong some of the time along the way, and then hopefully some young upstart will hold our feet to the fire. Until then, we're kick starting 2009 with these:

Dining at the White House
PREDICTION (Udolfo): Obama's first meal will be grilled dry-rubbed chicken breast with greens and mango chutney. He will steal Carmelo Anthony's personal chef Daniel Young, causing a serious feud. In 2011, when the Nuggets win the NBA Championship, Carmelo will not shake Obama's hand. He will merely scoff and run to the White House kitchen in an attempt to get one last delicious meal from Daniel Young. Sadly, he will be subdued by the Secret Service and the following season the Nuggets will go 42-40. Carmelo will have a good year, but be slightly remorseful about the incident.

RESPONSE (Paul): The Nuggets will not win the NBA Championship in 2011. Crisis averted.

Appointment Controversy
PREDICTION (Paul): At least one of Obama's cabinet appointees will face serious opposition.

RESPONSE (Udolfo): But whom???

Obama Passes Bill
PREDICTION (Udolfo): In a surprising twist, Wild Horse and Burro legislation is leapfroged for a Bill, that will be signed into law, legalizing ranch workers to glue horns onto the heads of white horses allowing them to market the animals as Unicorns. Obama wants people to believe in MAGIC again. Tourism will rebound. Also, the fake-unicorn-manufacturing base will remain strong, as horses are difficult and expensive to import.

RESPONSE (Paul): Obama already passed a Bill... Clinton that is. Remember when Obama's candidacy was a "fairy tale"... then he won the nomination... then he got elected president... so Unicorns... yeah, maybe you're on to something...

Home Values
PREDICTION (Paul): Houses will continue to lose value. Save your money and buy the railroads and utility companies.

RESPONSE (Udolfo): Yes, you see, hobos use railways. Those who "hobo it" will be using those after they lose their house. Meanwhile, a few young up-and-comers will get some nice homes that were foreclosed.

Obama's First Scandal as President
PREDICTION (Udolfo): The First Family will pick a puppy that offends the Golden Lab lobby. It will be a Chocolate Lab named Garfunkel.

RESPONSE (Paul): The puppy will be cute and cuddly. It will have an equally adorable name.

Unknown Unknowns will become Known Knowns
PREDICTION (Paul): You see, there are currently things we don't know we don't know, but over the next 12 months, we will come to know them. Do you know what I'm saying?

RESPONSE (Udolfo): I believe we know what we don't know.

Read No Further
PREDICTION (Udolfo): Udolfo predicts predictions will be realized to be ridiculous. So, we might as well predict crazy things anyways.

RESPONSE (Paul): I predict we will...

hello internet

2009-01-02T13:00:00.001-05:00

Greetings, I am Udolfo. Udolfo J. Fatoon. I am the new person to write for this blog. Please..allow me to introduce myself.

I was born Udolfo J. Fatoon...to parents of Spanish and Lebanese descent. My father was...Lebanese, my mother a Spaniard...but of course, a dastardly Spaniard.

I am very highly educated, and have lived all over the Earth, including but not limiting to: London, Hong Kong, Cleveland...I could go on, the list is impressive indeed! (Note I am a bit older than my collie on this website LOL!) Now though, I live in Arizona, where I am retired from the day-by-day operations of my very successful spice trading company.

(Ah yes. Lest I not forget...I am very wealthy to extremes, as I am a very successful SPICE MERCHANT.)

Furthering, my interests include gambling, being very wealthy, and playing the giraffe polo. I love fine wines and exquisite architecture. The Shaquille O'Neal is my favorite basketball player. My favorite movie right now is "Four Christmases" featuring Vince Vaughn and Reeses Witherspoon. Oh...AND I LOVE the internet! Particularly, "blogging" is quite exciting.

Ah Yes. I like going and reading blogs. It is fun. Particularly, this one. We live in exciting time, where anyone can write things for others to read. This knowledge is available to all who have computers. In many ways, blogging is to help uneducated stupid people and library hoboes like yourself become more smart. (Just kidding! A joke! LOL.)

Anyway, since my interest in this "blog", I asked for permission to ocassionally tell my thoughts to you. Mostly...my opinions on political matters, but Mr. Paul says I can tell you my dirty old man jokes too! Hooray!

But it is nice to feel understood, yes? That is why I am here and Mr. Paul is very kind for having me here, and I shall write for him what he desires I write. Now. As for my mission statement...hmmm...I hereby declare I will also write with no filters and no agendas. Except, of course, take into account my agenda to have a good time, which is present in everything I do. Also, I wish to turn this for profit. But whatev! (LOL!)

So. As this new year of 2009 comes in, I hope to be showing up and writing sometimes. I also wish to become even more wealthy. My wish for you, of course, is prosperity, and much happiness. Here's to the future!

Love, Udolfo.

meet your government: randy forbes

2009-01-02T08:00:00.001-05:00

Name Randy Forbes
Age 56
Occupation Congressman
Party Republican
District Southeastern, VA
In Congress 8 years
08 Election Margin 60%-40%
Book Learning BA, Randolph-Macon; JD, Virginia
07-08 Campaign Spending $914,169
Political Pedigree None
Claim to Fame Founder and Chairman of the Congressional Prayer Caucus (Est. 2005)
Notable Scandal Acceptance of controversial campaign funds from the likes of Tom Delay, Duke Cunningham, and Jack Abramoff
Proud Sponsor of H.RES.888: Affirming the rich spiritual and religious history of our Nation's founding and subsequent history and expressing support for designation of the first week in May as "American Religious History Week" for the appreciation of and education on America's history of religious faith.
You can quote him "As a member of the House Subcommittee on Space and Aeronautics, I am a firm believer in the American space program."
Online (as a Congressman) forbes.house.gov
Online (as a candidate) www.randyforbes.com

2009

2009-01-01T23:00:00.000-05:00

Welcome to 2009, or as we used to call it, the future.

If you're keeping track at home you've probably already noted that we are a mere 11 years away from flying cars (very exciting), so we all have that going for us. If 2008 was not kind to you, we hope that this coming 360+ days brings you the satisfaction you lacked. If 2008 was some kind of banner year, here's to the scrap booking and fond memories you'll carry forward hereupon.

If you haven't already put one and one together, change is coming to this here site. It's Midway Politics' 2009 resolution: keep improving. And we shall.

Until then...

Happy New Year.

politics 101: political scandal management

2008-12-31T14:30:00.000-05:00

BREAKING NEWS: governor accused of committing criminal acts defies Senator's idle threat. File this one away with other stories like: the sky is blue, the dodo is extinct, and meteorologists can't actually predict the weather.

Rod Blagojevich, the Governor of Illinois, has been ignoring civil laws. He TRIED TO SELL A UNITED STATES SENATE SEAT. So excuse me for not being shocked that he didn't heed the warning of Harry Reid who claimed any selection made by the disgraced governor would not be seated (even though it's not entirely clear the Senate can refuse to seat an appointee).

This is a politics lesson though. Blagojevich is an expert at dealing with problems. He provides us with the perfect opportunity to welcome back Politics 101. Today's topic: Political Scandal Management...

1) Claim innocence of any wrongdoing. This is critical. You might think it would be problematic if there is clear evidence. You would be wrong. If you can merely create even the most plausible case of innocence at least somebody will believe it.
2) Stress the process of the legal system. This is primarily a time buying tactic. The basis of the US legal system is that all accused are innocent until proven guilty, you have undoubtedly heard this before. However, it is important to remind the public of this by repeatedly stressing the point. There might be evidence, an arrest, or even an admission of guilt, but until all the facts are in, and one's day in court has been had, nothing is proven.
3) Maintain innocence. The media is piling on. Allies are abandoning you. The public sentiment has swung wildly, but not at all in your favor. Stay on message, you're still innocent. You are being unfairly targeted by an unscrupulous and possibly politically motivated prosecutor. The true nature of your words or your real intentions were twisted. You're positive she was 18... Why won't anyone believe you!
4) Refuse to resign. Stepping down, aside, or any other direction for that matter, is tantamount to an admission of guilt. Tell everyone you aren't going anywhere.
5) Blame someone else. Deflect the blame. Do you have a scapegoat on staff? How about a cousin with a criminal record? Point the finger somewhere else. You were just a victim of circumstance. Besides, someone else probably was doing something wrong anyway.
6) Maintain innocence. Remain defiant. This is character assassination. Don't let those naysayers win!
7) Plead guilty. Okay, you know how corrupt the system is, you probably can't get a fair trial. Don't fight the system, take a deal, look at getting that sentence reduced.
8) Hide in the shadows. The quicker everyone forgets about you, the sooner you can run for office again.

meet your government: tim holden

2008-12-31T08:00:00.001-05:00

Name Tim Holden
Age 51
Occupation Congressman
Party Democrat
District Central, PA
In Congress 16 years
08 Election Margin 64%-36%
Book Learning BA, Bloomsburg
07-08 Campaign Spending $1,074,627
Political Pedigree None
Claim to Fame One of the most conservative congressional Democrats
Top Scandal Directing over 40% of all US Agriculture subsidies to members of the Agriculture Committee while Chairman.
Proud Sponsor of H.R.2462: To amend the Farm Security and Rural Investment Act of 2002 to promote growth and opportunity for the dairy industry in the United States, and for other purposes.
You can quote him "Coal research and development provides huge benefits for the nation, and pays for itself many times over through taxes flowing back to the Treasury from expanded economic activity."
Online (as a Congressman) www.holden.house.gov
Online (as a candidate) broken link

obama's hawaiian adventure

2008-12-30T16:30:00.001-05:00

George Bush took a ton of vacation time while in office. A few months ago he set the record for taking the most of any sitting president-- I wasn't even aware such statistics were kept, but apparently they are.

Barack Obama, not to be outdone, has gone on a pre-presidential Hawaiian Holiday with his family. They lost power, he bribed the media, they photographed him with his shirt off. The Obama's are free to vacation as they wish. George Bush certainly did.

Allow me to retreat back to one of my favorite angles though... the relentless PR war. There is gloomy economic news, the Blagojevich scandal, and violence in Gaza. It's not that presidents shouldn't be allowed to go on vacation when there is bad news, because there will always be bad news. There isn't anything wrong with going to Hawaii either, especially since it is the birthplace of the incoming president. The combination, however, is not one you would think the administration would want to deal with. Gallivanting about in Hawaii during challenging times sends the wrong signal.

It raises the larger question, where is Obama from. Last I checked he was "from the land of Lincoln." He was elected to the Senate in Illinois. That's where his residence was listed. I was born and raised outside of Seattle, I reside in Massachusetts. When I get on a plane and fly west I'm no longer going home, I'm going on vacation. Home, you might say, is where the bills are sent. Up until Barack Obama occupies the White House, or legally moves back to Hawaii, he isn't going "home" when he visits the islands, he is on vacation.

The press has been kind to Barack Obama. That honeymoon is about to come to and end. Truthfully, his Hawaiian vacation has not come under much scrutiny, but in the future, if the Obama's continue to retreat there, they shouldn't expect the same.

meet your government: kevin brady

2008-12-30T08:00:00.000-05:00

Name Kevin Brady
Age 53
Occupation Congressman
Party Republican
District Suburban Houston, TX
In Congress 12 years
08 Election Margin 72%-25%
Book Learning BA, South Dakota
07-08 Campaign Spending $595,072
Political Pedigree None
Claim to Fame Supporter of sunset law that would require all programs funded through the federal budget not explicitly written into the Constitution to justify their existence or be eliminated.
Top Scandal DUI while driving home following his reception of the Univeristy of South Dakota's Distinguished Alumni award.
Proud Sponsor of H.RES.501: Commending Craig Biggio of the Houston Astros for reaching 3,000 base hits as a Major League Baseball player and for his outstanding to baseball and the Houston, Texas, region.
You can quote him "PAYGO, the way it is working this year is a sham. A sham! Being lectured on fiscal irresponsibility by this Democratic Congress is like being lectured on parenting by Britney Spears; it makes no sense at all."
Online (as a Congressman) www.house.gov/brady
Online (as a candidate) broken link

the us does not care about foreign plights (except in iraq and afghanistan)

2008-12-29T18:00:00.001-05:00

If the outbreaks of violence in South Ossetia, Mumbai, and now Gaza have been insightful in any way, it most obviously would be the US government's unwillingness to engage in foreign policy matters like it did six years ago.

Well cataloged is George Bush's transformation from isolationist (on the 2000 campaign trail) to nationbuilder (following 9/11). At least it made sense. Before he took office he believed one thing: that the US shouldn't waste its resources overseas or get involved in bullying other countries into behaving a certain way. Then, following one of the greatest tragedies in his nation's history, he saw value in a strong foreign policy agenda.

I've written previously of the leadership vacuum created by the lengthy transition period, in which the current president, with historically low approval ratings, is itching to leave but remains in office, while the president-elect, refusing to step on toes, doesn't take office until the end of January and thus vacations shirtless in Hawaii. This could be a major problem like it was with a collapsing economy. I'm not sure it is quite the same, but it is a factor.

The bigger issue here is what many wondered six years ago. What do you do after you invade Iraq? And by asking this question I don't mean what do you with Iraq, I mean literally after you deal with Iraq, then what, or perhaps then where becomes the question. Set aside the merits of the justification for invasion and think about the problem practically. How many countries have corrupt or even tyrannical leaders? How many countries openly ignore or actively harbor terrorists? It isn't a small number. The US is having a difficult time waging war on two fronts, let alone 20.

It's the Realism theory of international relations: countries will act in their own self interest. Real or imagined the US believed it was necessary to go to Afghanistan and Iraq. It does not see the need to get involved the same way in Georgia, India or Palestine. This is about 50% a PR problem, 50% a resources problem, and 0% a policy problem.

When faced with domestic crisis the US must act. Floods in Iowa, hurricanes in Florida, banks without any money... take your pick, the government has to respond. International affairs are a little more complicated. There are sovereign heads of state, international treaties, and complicated alliances. There are serious consequences sticking your country's neck out.

Understand then, the US having a lack of enthusiasm getting involved between fellow G8 member Russia and future NATO ally Georgia, or India and Pakistan, or, most currently, Israel and Palestine. The budget is tight, there is domestic turbulence, the previous adventures abroad are losing steam and support, there is a leadership vacuum.

The Realism theory says do nothing. It's easiest to do nothing, and that seems to be the prevailing strategy.

meet your government: bob filner

2008-12-29T07:30:00.000-05:00

Name Bob Filner
Age 66
Occupation Congressman
Party Democrat
District Southern San Diego, CA
In Congress 16 years
08 Election Margin 72%-25%
Book Learning BS/MA/PhD, Cornell
07-08 Campaign Spending $901,585
Political Pedigree Worked as a staffer for Hubert Humphrey
Claim to Fame Being haunted in Democratic primaries by Juan Vargas who has attempted to defeat him three times.
Top Scandal Charged with assault and battery of a United Airlines employee.
Proud Sponsor of H.RES.444: Supporting the goals and ideals of National Aviation Maintenance Technician Day, honoring the invaluable contributions of Charles Edward Taylor, regarded as the father of aviation maintenance, and recognizing the essential role of aviation maintenance technicians in ensuring the safety and security of civil and military aircraft.
You can quote him "While big cities still have the majority of gangs their tentacles reach out from the cities into every aspect of our society."
Online (as a Congressman) www.house.gov/filner
Online (as a candidate) www.bobfilnerforcongress.com

boxing day and the coalition of the willing

2008-12-26T10:00:00.000-05:00

Happy Boxing Day! For those not familiar with the holiday, it originated from giving gifts to the less fortunate. Now it is better know as a shopping day for anyone living in the Commonwealth Nations. If you are a US citizen you are not a member of a Commonwealth Nation, but you are still invited to shell out money buying things you wanted for Christmas and did not receive.

Allow me use this opportunity to touch upon a recent development in Iraq. Following the now infamous shoe throwing incident. British Prime Minister Gordon Brown made a slightly less eventful trip to Baghdad, where he announced the upcoming withdrawal of his country's forces by the summer of 2009.

The Coalition of the Willing has dwindled significantly over the past six years, with essentially only the US and Britain remaining in any large numbers. At the onset 45 countries signed on to assist in Iraq, and, for whatever they may have provided along the way (in some cases not much), it was a sufficiently large enough group to keep those opposing the US's actions from winning in the court of public opinion, at least stateside. All along however, it was the inclusion of the British that kept things legitimate, or if you reject that assessment substitute the word afloat.

Alas, the announcement the British are headed home should make it clear that international operations in Iraq are drawing to a close. The US will stick around, but not in any large force, starting say 18-24 months from now. For everyone's sake let's hope the Iraqi security forces have been paying attention in class. They're going to be tested.

jingle jingle jingle

2008-12-25T10:37:00.008-05:00

Well, today is the day when some of the earth stands still, and peace, love, and merriment win over the usual conflict, frustration and bustle that dominate the average life. I don't know this for sure, perhaps you live a very leisurely stress free life, or perhaps, you prefer the ordinary to Christmas. It's been my experience though, that most people live for those days when work is an afterthought and enjoying oneself comes first. We aren't here for that long you know, so it seems a tad silly that we make a big deal of all those other days.

Don't let my idealistic ramblings fool you though, hearing Paul McCartney belt out A Wonderful Christmas Time could mean that all bets are off; as the song makes my blood boil for reasons that cannot easily be explained. Enough of that. Merry Christmas. Ho ho ho. Fa la la la la. Tomorrow is Boxing Day (not a celebration of prize fighting, contrary to popular belief). See you then.

Stock-ing Stuffers

2008-12-24T22:00:00.006-05:00

It's the Evening before the day of Christmas, if you believe in and/or celebrate the holiday. Completely plausible is the notion you were frantically purchasing last moment gifts or perhaps stocking stuffers: those lovable oddities that fill gigantic socks which hang very poorly from mantles (or other perches) across the land. Since your mind may be on the topic already, allow Midway Politics to keep you focused on some stock-ing stuffers of our own.

Just in case you've been living under a rock or were hit in the head by an anvil (in which case let me express how sorry I am) you're probably aware this has been a difficult year for the US economy. Hopefully you weren't a responsible person investing those hard earned dollars in your future... or if you were, hopefully you got out before disaster struck. Here's a look back at a few companies and what one share of their stock was trading for a year ago, compared with today's closing:

General Electric Company $37.53 -> $16.11

Fannie Mae $38.80 -> $0.59

The Washington Post Company $799.99 -> $376.35

Bank of America Corporation $42.30 -> $13.53

Apple Inc. $198.95 -> $85.04

General Motors Corporation $26.52 -> $3.25

Merck & Co. Inc. $59.42 -> $29.27

Not a pretty picture.

I'm not an economist (although I did take an economics class once) but I'm relatively confident in these two thoughts:

1) It could get worse before it gets better. Market psychology is so fragile right now that either a major rebound or steep decline over the next six months to a year is conceivable. The way jobs numbers are shaping up, amongst a multitude of other indicators, it appears the latter may be more of a reality, even if the measurement is quarters instead of years.

2) If you are just beginning to panic, now is not the time to start selling. Specific circumstances dictate each person's own course, but for most it's probably safe to assume you'll only be losing money in the long run. Contact your Certified Financial Planner for more information... or just dig a large hole in your backyard and stock it with reserves and whatever remaining precious metals that haven't lost a quarter of their value already.

Brace yourselves, but hope for the best. It's just like going through your stocking. "Oh boy toothpaste... just what I always wanted...thanks honey."

the night before congress

2008-12-24T10:00:00.003-05:00

Continuing the bailout narrative... with a Christmas twist.

Twas the night before Congress, when throughout the hall

Not a creature was talking, not even Ron Paul;

The media stood by, with notepads in hand,

In hopes that a story would break for the land;

The citizens were nestled all snug in their beds,

While visions of employment danced in their heads;

And Pelosi and Reid were ready to nap,

Because nobody expected the President to act;

When out from the White House there arose such a clatter,

They sprang from the chamber to see what was the matter.

Away to the West Wing they drove in flash,

Hoping to avoid the inevitable clash.

The moon on the horizon was ominous and bright,

Giving luster to edifices and statues so white;

When, what to their wondering eyes did appear,

But Vice President Cheney laughing with cheer,

With a silly looking man who looked a bit hesitant,

They knew in a moment it must be the President,

More rapid than victory in Iraq his cabinet they came,

And he whistled, and shouted, and called them by name;

"Now Leavitt! now, Gutierrez! now, Chao and Paulson!

On, Bodman! on Kempthorne! on, Schafer and Preston!

To the top of country, to the top of the globe!

Now risk all our money and hope we don't fold!"

Unlike dry stacks of paper that never get passed,

The congressional leadership couldn't have acted more fast,

When they meet with an obstacle, the killed it in conference,

So the country would see a unified confidence,

And then, in a twinkling, they heard from the hall,

The familiar next president's sultry drawl.

Reid raised up his hands, and jumped up and down,

Wanting to talk with the next head of the crown,

He was modest and calm from the start to the end,

Like a vacationing student or a man on the mend.

A bag full of jokes he offered at will,

Sounding like a comedian who was totally chill,

His brain how it processed! His banter how merry!

His suave appearance was the icing and cherry.

His wide mouth was drawn up like a bow,

And his prominent teeth were as white as the snow;

His multiple Blackberries were tight at his side,

And his Chief of Staff Rahm came along for the ride.

He was slender but tough and disarmingly nice,

And everyone giggled despite the crisis.

With a quick few words and one brief exchange,

Everyone knew his thoughts were on change;

He collected himself then whispered to Bush,

And the President melted like reheated mush;

Then raising his finger up in the air,

A trillion dollar bill appeared from nowhere!

The lesson of this tale is remarkably simple,

We'll keep printing money till we're broke or all wrinkled.

Thus he was heard proclaiming, as he walked out of sight,

We'll blame it on Bush, until the public won't buy it.

grinding to a halt

2008-12-23T17:30:00.001-05:00

Where are today's posts you ask? Well 15 inches of snow, freezing cold temperatures, hours of shoveling and a the flu tend to halt a one man show, such as it is. That isn't to say there is a link, because there isn't, completely anyway.

Eventually an opportunity will present itself and I will get ahead so such interruptions will not occur. Here are some observations until tomorrow, when hopefully things will be back to normal.

Gas prices are low. Enjoy! You know it won't last.

Obama continues to maintain innocence.

The Bush administration is beginning the pardon process. We'll have more on this eventually.

If you haven't started your Christmas shopping, God help you.

See you tomorrow, it will be grand.

the odds: which industry will be bailed out next?

2008-12-22T22:00:00.001-05:00

Well, it finally happened. After weeks of begging, pleading, scolding, and crying, from all sides, George Bush reminded everyone that he is in fact still president and tossed a little cash the auto industry's way. It's almost a given little will improve for the Big Three, but only band aids and a small tube of disinfectant remain in the US's first aid kit. Call it what you will, a sign of the times, lack of creativity, or an exceptionally serious problem that has no simple solutions. Yes, bailouts are all the rage.

So, what industry in this crippled economy will play Tiny Tim in the next version of the US Economic Christmas Carol? I'm glad you asked, Oliver Twist would be proud... Here are the odds:

The Airline Industry 3-1
Same as the auto industry only less trusted and airborne.

Energy/Utilities Industry 4-1
It won't be called a bailout, but more assistance is surely coming.

Media Industry 10-1
The maligned giants of information dissemination are expecting a difficult 2009.

Agriculture Industry 12-1
Oh, I almost forgot, we've been bailing them out for years...

Travel Industry 40-1
Doesn't it seem strange that in a day where phones double as wireless computers, planes can be flown without pilots, and a face transplant is an actual medical procedure that pirates are making regular appearances in the news. How did this happen? Will cruises ever be the same again? Will gift shops sell Kevlar vests? Are we headed for a day where passengers can pay for excursions that involve actual sea warfare?

Tech Industry 100-1
"Hi. I'm a Mac"
"And, I'm a PC. You know Mac we've disagreed on a lot of things over the years."
"We sure have PC, but the one thing we both agree on is the necessity for Congress to pass a $60 billion bailout for the troubled technology sector."

Porn Industry 800,000,000-1
Oh, you thought I was above this? You were mistaken. Besides, those odds are actually pretty good.

meet your government: bill pascrell jr

2008-12-22T07:00:00.000-05:00

Name Bill Pascrell Jr
Age 71
Occupation Congressman
Party Democrat
District Northeast, NJ
In Congress 12 years
08 Election Margin 71%-28%
Book Learning BA/MA, Fordham
07-08 Campaign Spending $1,089,000
Political Pedigree High school student body president
Claim to Fame Outspoken critic of stereotypical treatment of Italian-Americans, especially critical of The Sopranos
Top Scandal Charges of partying just days after 9/11
Proud Sponsor of H.R. 569: To amend the Federal Water Pollution Control Act to authorize appropriations for sewer overflow control grants.
You can quote him "The Vice President has a problem of figuring out which branch of government he belongs to."
Online (as a Congressman) www.pascrell.house.gov
Online (as a candidate) www.pascrellforcongress.com

bush to the rescue: or who is really in charge of the united states government at this point in time?

2008-12-19T14:00:00.002-05:00

In what could be his final major act as president, George Bush has defied a number of critics in his own party and thrown a bone to the US auto industry. Citing the need for government to safeguard the economy in a time of crisis, he tapped into the remaining (albeit dwindling) billions authorized in the initial $700 billion bailout.

There are a lot of experts looking at this essentially as a softer bankruptcy. It may turn out to be the best decision, or it may be another $17 billion down the drain (but really who's counting anymore).

Bush had one particularly interesting line in his announcement. Reasoning through the decision he said that inaction, "would leave the next president to confront the demise of a major American industry in his first days of office."

Barack Obama has been very careful to note that until the inauguration George Bush is still president. George Bush now seems to be basing decisions (at least partially) on a new president taking office. The lame duck period/transition period is lasting a little too long if you ask me. The United States is left exposed during a tumultuous period by a vacuum of leadership at the top.

Nepotism

2008-12-19T08:00:00.001-05:00

If you want an interesting read on nepotism in today's politics I'm recommending this strand from Outside the Beltway. It links to several other takes on the topic.

I almost completely agree with the conclusion: benefiting from name recognition and getting elected is one thing. Benefiting from name recognition and getting appointed is completely another. The laws vary substantially between states. I'm not prepared to conclude that stripping governors of their appointment power is the right move. However, for those individuals with the appointment power, it would seem prudent to maybe pick a caretaker (see Barkley, Dean) if the replacement isn't immediately obvious.

Fill the vacancy, make sure the people are properly represented, but don't waste taxpayer money holding a special election... probably too logical. Maybe just put the seat on craigslist, then at least we would know.

gay rights: on hold/nothing new

2008-12-18T22:22:00.004-05:00

The Evangelical Pastor Rick Warren has been chosen to deliver the invocation at Barack Obama’s inauguration. This has ignited a fury on the interwebs, as only such silly things can. You see, this is proof the new administration is going to do little to advance the “gay agenda.”

Yes, let me confirm what you probably already know. The gay agenda is a sinister homosexual plot to destroy families and take over the United States by inundating the country with funny looking clothes, single parent households and a latent disdain for members of the opposite sex. If it sounds eerily similar to the less advertised-- but far more rapidly advancing-- heterosexual agenda, that’s because it is. In fact, I’m at a complete loss as to why any gay person would want to heterosexualize their rights at all, but to each their own... which is the point of frustration for gay people ultimately.

Seriously though, I’m don’t mean to belittle the plight of the GLBT community. Only by living through circumstances they face regularly could any straight person really understand what it is like to be treated as a second class citizen, which is basically what they are.

Still the symbolic choice of Chief Prayer Reader for a day as the smoking gun Obama has no intentions of fighting the GLBT fight? Please. SNL knew two months ago what apparently some are only now realizing:

Queen Latifah Ifill: The next question is for you, Senator Biden. Do you support, as they do in Alaska, granting same-sex benefits to couples?

Jason Sudeikis Biden: I do. In an Obama-Biden administration, same-sex couples would be guaranteed the same property rights, rights to insurance, and rights of ownership as heterosexual couples. There will be NO distinction. I repeat, NO distinction.

Queen Latifah Ifill: So, to clarify, do you support gay marriage, Senator Biden?

Jason Sudeikis Biden: Absolutely not! But I do think they should be allowed to visit one another in the hospital. And, in a lot of ways, that's just as good, if not better.

I understand why choosing Rick Warren would be seen as a slap in the face, but this shouldn't be a surprise. The national debate on gay rights, and more specifically gay marriage, is only just starting to heat up. Laws are still being passed taking away rights from same sex couples. Politicians protect their own self interests before protecting that of others.

This will be the civil rights fight of the next 20 years, and, as is the customary course, the tide will begin to turn (especially as the older and socially more conservative folk begin to die off). This isn't to justify current mistreatment, or cast the aside the issue of gay rights, for there are millions who wrongly live unequal lives in America everyday.

Progress has historically been slow in the United States, and that isn't about to change with one inauguration.

meet your government: mike rogers

2008-12-18T08:00:00.000-05:00

Name Mike Rogers
Age 45
Occupation Congressman
Party Republican
District Southeast, MI
In Congress 8 years
08 Election Margin 57%-40%
Book Learning BA, Adrian College
07-08 Campaign Spending $1,554,388
Political Pedigree None
Claim to Fame Former FBI agent turned lawmaker
Top Scandal None, but got cozy with lobbyists quickly after a close campaign (read: raised a ton of money), sparking the usual anger and distrust from those opposing such practices.
You can quote him "You know, today we're going to spend hours and hours grilling a professional player about he said/she said activities in professional baseball. We spent an entire day on this floor this year trying to figure out how we're going to designate scenic trails in New England; 162 bills commemorating someone or something, 162 on the floor this year; 162 bills naming post offices... We've obviously wasted a lot of time."
Proud Sponsor of H.RES.488: Congratulating the Detroit Tigers for winning the 2006 American League Pennant and for bringing the City of Detroit and the State of Michigan their first trip to the World Series in 22 years."
Online (as a Congressman) www.mikerogers.house.gov
Online (as a candidate) www.rogers4congress.com